On Beauty

Author, poet and spirtualist John O'Donohue says that we "often mistake Beauty for glamour." So true. In that vein...

This is beautiful. She is beautiful (video is of a 90 year old woman doing light gardening and stretching)



Simplicity. Work. Movement. Beauty. Joy. Sharing a cup of tea with a friend. Heartfelt conversation.

I love her hands. They seem to hold such kindness and wisdom.

I like to think about my grandfather's hands.  When I remember him holding my hand, I can once again feel his closeness,  the warmth of them, the just-slightly-callused feel of a worker hand enveloping mine. And then there was the love I felt coming through them. Forever, the memory of them and what they offered me will bring me comfort. They were beautiful.



Now my grandmother's body is slowly wearing out. She came closer to death than she has ever been a few weeks ago. As she lay sick in a hospital bed, I held her hand and quietly took this picture.



This hand rubbed my back hundreds of times, prepared food for her family, held hundreds of books, packed grocery bags full of food for me weekly when I was in college.  Her hands wrote receipts for she and Grandpa's filter business, cooked "gook*", slipped on a choir robe every Sunday, and held my Grandpa's hand. Forever, the memory of her hands and what they offered me will bring me comfort. They were beautiful.

There is nothing more beautiful than giving and receiving Love.



*gook--Grandma's name for the random conglomeration of vegetables, meat, and beans she would throw together in a big pot for lunch. Served with Jiffy cornbread and never made the same way twice, even when she tried.  Served to family members and filter customers alike over the years, who unexpectedly popped in at lunchtime.

Making Music

Dear Jenna,

Sometime around the 7th month of taking violin lessons (about September of 2011), just after moving on from "Lightly Row," you began to play the violin....

All throughout the day.

When you were five years old, we asked you, "Would you like to learn to play the violin like Olivia? She gives lessons." You answered with an excited, "Yeeeaaaah." So we (dad, mom and gma rita and pop) bought you the teeniest-tiniest violin imaginable for your 5th Christmas. I secretly hoped that you would fall in love with it and experience the joy of playing music and expressing yourself in this way for the rest of your life. Yet, I also knew this was something you would have to "own" yourself, so I rarely suggested you practice (um except, of course, the day of the lesson because I was embarrassed about how obvious it was that we hadn't even gotten it out of the case all week. With the Suzuki method, the parent is supposed to guide the child and make sure they are practicing daily. With our sporadic practice, you were usually frustrated and often wanted to quit after 5 minutes). Just for a little encouragement, I started keeping it out in the living room with the music written on the dry erase board to make it easier to play.

And then one day, something just clicked inside of you. Your Dad and I were kind of in awe of it, really. You would walk from your bed first thing in the morning, still bleary-eyed, straight to the violin and start playing. You would play it, sit it down, play it, sit it down, play it, etc., on and off all day. It would come to the supper table , to the bedroom, to the bathroom. We'd find it lying in all sorts of strange and dangerous places for a violin to be. :) Who would have ever dreamed we would have to say, "could you stop playing for a minute?" :) "Could you please stop leaving your violin on the kitchen counter/couch/bed?"



We love hearing the music and watching you, completely engrossed, play your songs over and over again. Your little fingers fly over the strings. You play for grandparents and great-grandmas, for visitors and friends. And yes, you have even played it while riding on a tricycle around the house. You are challenged and expressive and proud and can make beautiful music that adds so much beauty to what was a non-musically inclined home. Oh and Jenna, your very favorite way to play a song right now is FAST.

Your dad and I absolutely love to hear you play. It's so moving to see you working at something that you enjoy and then sharing it with others. Whatever that may be.

With much Love and Hugs and Kisses,
Mama

P.S . I love the violin I got this Christmas too (Thanks Daddy). I love it that you are so much farther along than I am, even if you correct me a lot. :) I love playing together.

Christmas Morning-Jenna wearing a ballet costume and me a hat she decorated for me

PPS This part is for you one day, whether you decide to keep playing the violin or not. Author John O'Donohue said that "Music is what language would love to be if it could." It is beautiful beyond what words can be (with the exception possibly of poetry). It can express the greatest joy and the deepest sorrow. He goes on to say "That's why I find the aesthetic things like poetry, fiction, good film, theater, drama, dance, and music actually awaken [the art of inwardness] inside you... And remind you that there is a huge interiority within you."

Right now, you love to dance to a song that grips everyone in our family in the way that Donohue describes: Apocolyptica. It is so obvious that you feel this music when you dance. I know exactly how you feel too--it makes me want to move and cry. :) So does Daddy. He runs as fast as he can when he listens to it on a run. :)